Sunday, January 16, 2011

Day #17 Confessions

On the 13th I weighed in at 231.4. I was SO happy! I immediately started celebrating and told my sister, my husband, my closest friends, my weight loss companions...I was on top of the world.

Then I woke up on the 14th to weigh myself before going to work and I weighed 231.8! What? How can that be? I weighed less yesterday! I didn't go over my calories, I walked 3.5 miles with two minutes of jogging! I was doing everything right. I was frustrated and pissed and went into work that day with this anger about my "failure" of 0.4 lbs! I'm an IDIOT. Hello! There could be so many culprits, water retention from eating too much salt for example. I realize this now, but in that moment I was upset. Throughout the day my coworkers were eating all this high fat, high cal, delicious looking food and I was eating fruit and a turkey sandwich and healthy snacks! This made me even more angry. I was seriously thinking about going downstairs and getting what they had. I don't know why I didn't, but I'm glad I made the right choice.

When I got home I was exhausted and frustrated and I wanted to turn to my favorite So I looked at my calories for the day, ate a healthy dinner, then figured out exactly how many calories I had left and "binged" on chips and candy. I didn't go over my calories, but I wasn't making good choices. I was doing exactly what got me up to 250 lbs in the first place.  I decided I wasn't going to post my higher weight on this blog, I was going to post my "lighter" weight, but in the end decided not to lie, both to myself and to you.

I drank a LOT of water that day, and when I woke up yesterday I weighed myself again. The numbers started going into the 232's and I jumped off before it finalized a weight. I wouldn't accept that. What was causing this? Was it my "binge" of low fat pringles, or do I retain more water on the days that I work because i'm standing up for such long periods of time? Is 1550 calories not enough for my body at this weight? I don't know, but I was determined to make better choices than the day before. I succeeded.

When I woke up today I weighed 231.8 again. I'm happy with that weight. It's only day 17! I have the REST OF MY LIFE to continue to make good choices. In 17 days I have come down to a weight I haven't been in over a year. That is progress i'm really proud of. I am addicted to food, food is my comfort when i'm stressed/sad, and my first battle (of many i'm sure) with this addiction was a victory!

I have decided not to weigh myself on work days and to try to weigh myself only once a week. I know that will be hard, because I am a scale junkie, but these are part of the good choices I need to make in order to be successful long-term.

Today's breakfast was awesome! One slice of whole wheat bread, one whole egg (scrambled), one half slice of cheese, one tbsp ketchup, and two slices of pre-cooked bacon for 229 calories. This breakfast will keep me full and satisfied from the time I ate it (930) until lunch time!


  1. keep it up ninja. dont bother with the tenths when weighing. Its not going to help. focus on the bigger numbers. i know you can do it. Nothing feels better than exercising rather than plowing down the refrigerator. keep up a daily workout routine(even if its only 5 minutes). little things every day can help out big. (dance in the shower, take the stairs, park farther away from work, etc.) All those combined with the workout everyday will have you feeling great about yourself. u can do it!

  2. Thanks for always believing in me ninja ;-) I love you!